Purpose In Life

ugh... I so struggle with living day to day knowing my purpose. Yes, I am a child of God. Yes, my purpose is to glorify Him, to further His kingdom. But how?! With what? I came across 2 video's from John Maxwell... I love his stuff. The first asks, "What am I passionate with?" The second, "What am I good at?"

http://video.success.com/experts/passion-great-energizer/


http://video.success.com/experts/good/

I so appreciate how Maxwell says, "Discovering your purpose is a process." It is not something that you find over night, over a week, or even a few years. It takes time!! (Time I so hate to wait for!) So what am I passionate about?

Jesus.. I down play it too much, but I love talking about God and how He works, who He is, who He isn't. People ask me, "Are you relgious?" I reply, "No, I just have an amazing relationship with God."

I am passionate about women... I love hearing the stories of women and their hurts, their pains, fears, doubts and I love more than anything to be their encourager. There are a group of women, friends of mine that have developed over the years... and I love that they come to me for not only grace, but truth. I realize there is a huge responsibility in this.... but somehow God's Word comes to my heart at the right time for me to pass it along to them. I am passionate about young women... girls who are just now beginning to face the pressures of the world. I want to be their protector, their guiding light.

Hospitality.. love of strangers... I am so passionate about loving on strangers. But the business of hospitality, not so much. I can't put my finger on it... but I am so dissatisfied working in a hotel. I like it, I'm content with it for now, but I really ... am not at peace about it. I know this is what I need to do for now, I really do not know what is in store for me here.. I will give it an honest, grown up shot... 2 years.. I'm commited and God honors commitment.

What am I good at?

Hospitality apparently... looking pretty... I get a lot of compliments on that. Being loving to people. Listening.. quite frequently people poor their heart out to me. It is always so very humbling when they do because I know they trust me. I am always honored. I'm great with girls ages 10+ I'm good at baking.. and cooking, but mainly baking. I'm good at getting attention.... sometimes the wrong kind of attention. I'd like to say I am good at bringing out the best in people... Being the thermostat in the room- lifting others up. I am good at reading something, a book or scripture and relating it to peoples lives... I love doing that, sending a text message to my girls! It's awesome when they send me verses back too!

I think I should read Rick Warren's book again.. it's been almost 2 years exactly. I think now would be a good time to re-read that.

To Let Go--To Forgive--To Love

"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong. Sometimes it's letting go." -Sylvia Robinson

I don't know what I want to say about this statement, all I know is that it hits a cord. So much has changed in my life in the last 2 years, holding on to things is just unhealthy. Moving forward has definitely caused me to repeatedly ask for strength from my Heavenly Father. I have found what has made me strong is forgiveness. Accepting my Fathers forgiveness of me. Forgiving others their transgressions. Is that what Sylvia means by "letting go" - forgiveness? It is so unnatural to do, isn't it?

Being unforgiving... is like a poision. I heard an anology a while back, forgive me for butchering it here, but it was something to the affect of, "bitterness is like drinking poision and expecting the person your mad at to die."

And why is asking forgivness so difficult?! Being prideful really gets you nowhere, so why are we tempted to be so? Why is forgiving yourself even more difficult than forgiving others? I find that I hold myself to a much higher standard than I hold others in my life. But if we are called to "Love others as you love yourself" ---so could we say, "forgive others as you forgive yourself." But if you don't love yourself, or are unwilling to forgive yourself, can you really love and forgive others.

Why am I putting love and forgivness in a sentance as if they are synonymous?
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Why after leaving my 6 year relationship was I made stronger? I remained bitter at him for not proposing for years (I was the drinking poison, expecting him to see and be hurt and react to it).. then when he finally did I left and let go of the relationship. Over the last 7 months I definitely feel as if healing in our frienship as occured. I still love him, really I love him more now.. I'll admit it. I treat him better now, than I ever did when we were dating. Is it because I finally accepted my Fathers love for me, that I learned how to truly love? That because I actually love myself now, that I am able to love others. I don't see a marriage with this man... although I truly believe he will make a wonderful husband and father someday, I don't believe it is with me. But I miss him and our friendship.

We spoke a few times in April-- in person I was happy to be speaking with him, but as soon as he would leave I was crushed and emotionally exhausted. I was so pleased to be moving across the country so that those moments would not occur anymore. However, we have spoke over the phone a couple of times and I am always so excited to hear his voice. He was my best friend for 7 years... I love to share my stories with him and listen to his. Just because I am not marrying him anymore, why is there this unspoken rule of "you can't be friends." I just heard from my dad that he is looking into helping me out with my car, something about he can get me some free tires from his work. I look at these gestures and I see the boy, man now, that I fell in love with. When we were dating he always treated our friends better than he did me... we both did. Now that I am just a friend he is treating me with the same love and care he always treated all of our friends. I am having a difficult time letting go of this. I value his friendship, and I don't want to let it go. Is it possible to be friends? It's easier not to slip back into old habits now that I am across the country... but is it healthy?

I really feel as if him and I don't fit that standard 'break-up' mold. We have this amazing mutual respect and love of each other... I let go of him 7 months ago.. was made stronger. Periodically, he comes back... so am I really letting go? Will it really make me stronger, to deny this friendship for longer? "Absense makes the heart grow fonder."

But then I remember, what is more important here- to deny him or to deny God. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6 ---this verse shows up in my life all of the time at the moments I need it the most. For example this is just one of many occurances (God is so intentional here)- my first night in San Diego I ate at In & Out Burger (of'course!) and on the bottom of my chocolate shake cup was "Proverbs 3:5-6"--- As I remain obediant to God ... only good things come. When I spend so much time without communication with him, then I hear how God has been working in his life, I am soooo inspired and grateful for the break-up. I am so proud of him, it brings me to tears I am so overwhelmingly joyed, I am so proud of him.

Wow.. was not expecting all of that to come out..

"We love with a love that is more than just love." -Edgar Allen Poe

My body is a temple

This month I would like to pay attention to my body more. I have so many questions of how my body is and how to use it to glorify God. What am I eating? What I am doing? When am I exercising? How am I presenting myself? What is my image? What signal/message am I sending to people? To men? How can I discipline myself?

I have learned that it starts with the little things. When I can control my little impulses, say no to the "small" temptations, deny the tiniest of indulgences, then I will be more confident and able to say no to the large tempations. So... one of my biggest weakness' is food... we all know how obesessed I can be with sweets, with burgers, with anything edible, chocolate. I know that if I can grab ahold of this one are of my life, the affects will be evident and gratifying in SOOOO many other areas.

Now I need a game plan... how do I curb my appetite? I have learned little tricks here and there over the past 8 months, and they have worked, but it's all a mind game. So really, the question is how do I curb my eyes' appetite? How do I give what I eat up to God? How do I glorify him with food? aaahh, so many questions!!

Any tips? Any Bible verses that help you? Or ones that just come to mind?

21 Steps to Building Financial Wealth

1. Write out your financial goals
2. Live within your means
3. Set aside something from every paycheck
4. Set up a short-term contingency account
5. Keep proper records

6. Get out of debt.
7. Learn how to make money work for you
8. Open a no-load or rear-load mutual fund
9. Establish an IRA
10. Use money marketing accounts

11. Eliminate all unnecessary waste from current income
12. Avoid buying insurance you may not need
13. Reduce or eliminate all existing interest payments
14. Save up to 50% on the cost of an automobile
15. save 25-45% on home purchases 1

6. Save over 30% on existing home mortages
17. Learn how to reduce your taxes
18. Establish a workable estate plan for your family
19. Look for creative ways to increase current income
20. Plant a seed to help others

21. Be patient

Mark 11:23-24
For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart, but believs that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them and you will have them.

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.

James 2:17-18
Thus also faith by itslef, if it does not have works, is dead.
But someone will say, "You have faith, and I have works." Show me your faith without your works, and I will show ou my faith by my works.

Proverbs 27:23-24
Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, And attend to your herds; For riches are not forever, Nor does a crown endure all generations.
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Above is an exerpt from the book God's Plan for Your Finances. I took these notes almost exactly a year ago and definitely did not keep the principles at the forefront of my mind. I posted them here just so I would look at them more often. I love the verses that accompany the list... If I believe with all my heart that I will be successful and financially wise and ASK for that, I will recieve it. If I am generous in my work, I will be rewarded. My faith without action behind it is useless. And my actions, my intentions with my work and the people around me are more permantant than my riches.

As April wraps up, my finances have drastically improved... mainly because of my tax return, but still I have become more wise by giving more attention to this area of my life. I plan to continue to grow in this area, never will my hunger for knowledge cease. I am looking forward to beginning a new career tomorrow!! May the Lord continue to bless the road I am on. Praise be to Him, for sure!!!

Call Me Anything but Lonely

Call me anything but lonely
Through a stone disown me
Let'em know I'll never, ever be the same
'Cause they all head on home in the morning
Get on gone when it's storming
Let'em know I'll never kiss it all away
When the morning sun comes
You'll know I didn't run
'Cause when the rain came
It still never changed
Through the laughter and the tears
The pain and my fears I'll stay, I'll wait right here
These scars upon my sleeve
Won't get the best of me
You've had yours and I've had my own defeats
This heart upon your sleeve
I'll tread gently I won't rush in and run away on a breeze
When the morning sun comes
You'll know I didn't run
'Cause when the rain came
It still never changed
Through the laughter and the tears
The pain and my fears
I'll stay, I'll wait right here

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Above are the lyrics to a new song by Mat Kearney (click the title of the post to listen). I love this song. I have had amazing people come to my life in the last 7 months, not to mention an amazing relationship with God grow in the last 7 months as well. It is by these relationships that I have been able to fight in the trenches; laugh and cry through the pain. Thank you to everyone! Hopefully you know who you are, and you know why I am thankful for you. I hope I tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. Forgive me if I haven't said it in a while, but I am so incredibly grateful to have YOU, who is reading this right now, in my life!! I love you.

In the last week I was able to practice beautiful patience with perseverance. As you all know I flew out to San Diego pretty much over-confident of the job I was interviewing for thinking it was in the bag. I flew in Wed, had a four hour interview with three different people that same day, was told they would call me the next day... they didn't. So I went Thrus-Sun relaxing, meditating, planning my next move. Thursday I called the Hyatt, left a voice mail. Friday I e-mailed the Hyatt. Monday I applied to two other hotels and random office jobs; I walked out of Monday with an office job $8/hr part to full-time (better than Pietro's!). I worked Tuesday morning, e-mailed the Hyatt that afternoon to let them know I now have a full-time job, 30 minutes later they called to set up my final interview for Wed.

At this point I am pretty frustrated, but lackadaisical at the same time. I want to work for a company that respects my time, that calls when they say their gonna call, even if it is just to say, "We will have to push back the interview." Anyways, I had to tell the office job I couldn't work Wed because I had an interview. I walk into the Hyatt and first meet with an HR manager. He let me know that the job was a union position. This is kind of scary for me.. I know there are a lot of benefits to being part of a union, but I always hear some bad things too. If anything, I get great medical benefits by being apart of the union. Oh, and steady pay raises twice a year. After 30 minutes with HR, I met the GM of Hyatt. He was so super intimidating. I thought the interview went really well. The both of us were really engaged in conversation. I walked out of there so unsure... up to that point I had interviewed with four manager and I walked out of each interview thinking "I got this!" Because the manager pretty much told me I was what they were looking for. I walk out of the interview with the GM and there was no affirmation; he really made me nervous!! He did also say, in a half jokingly way, "You really should finish your degree." I answered, "I'm planning on it." He replied, "No, everybody always says 'next semester, next semester' I'm telling you, you have to just go now or you'll never do it. In fact, if I hire you I require you to go back to school and finish." I kind of liked the fatherly "I'm looking out for your best interest" speech. Normally I hate it, but coming from such a successful person in the industry, it was good to hear.

So three days go by, I had interviewed with another hotel, received a couple other call backs, but the Hyatt is the best opportunity for me. After three days... and no call back yet, I was getting really nervous and Lauren, who works there now was getting really nervous! She went to work on Friday and started asking everyone questions. "Have you heard anything yet? What's going on!?" haha, I love her. Well it worked, cause then all of a sudden one of her co-workers calls her from the break room and said, "Hey your roommate got hired! Her name is on the Front Desk schedule!" Lauren called me, freaking out she was so excited, then said, "You have to act surprised when they call you though!" This was Thursday.

Friday comes and finally at like 6:00PM they call and offer me the position of Front Desk Associate, $13.49/hr full-time (until the fall, then we'll see what happens--but it could be perfect for going back to school), full benefits, after working for Hyatt for a full year I get 12 complimentary nights at any Hyatt in the world. There are tons of other little benefits too, such as discounts on Ford vehicles and with cell phone companies. So yea, here is to the start of a career with Hyatt. I am committing to one employeer... I can actually see a future here. And it is so easy to transfer within the company to other locations. The Front Desk is not the job I came here for, but it is definitely better... and I got it because one manager saw potential in me to "perform at a very high skill level."

I have orientation May 2nd and then the summer will sky rocket from there. I have so much peace being here. I don't remember, ever feeling as if I were in the right place at the right time. My confidence is building in all areas of my life. I still have bad habits I am re-shaping, reforming, replacing with new better-for-me habits. San Diego isn't perfect, but it fits.

Also, last Thrusday I went to a woman's Bible study. The ladies were so sweet. Right now they are studing the different names of God. This weeks lesson was on Jehovah Nissi, "God my Banner" from Exodus 17. It was how God is our standard, our rock, our well-spring, our water to drink. It was a pretty amazing lesson and such a great time to be reminded that as my life may move at the speed of sound, God is my Banner. Call me anything but lonely, God is totally with me! I know this, and I am forever grateful for it. He shows Himself to me through the people I meet, through the beauty of the world around me, through His word, just everywhere.

P.S. Getting a job after living in a new city for 10 days isn't bad... technically it was only 5 because I got the office job first.

Special thank you to Lauren!! I love you and I so appreciate our friendship! Thank you for all of your love and generosity!! Sisters for life!

I'm in a glass case of emotion

SO much has happened since I last wrote. One week goes by and oh my... reflecting and meditating is a must in order to move forward. Maybe I should really discipline myself to do it daily. Okay so, first of all- my finances. My memory verse for the week was Colossians 3:1-3

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on the things above, where Christ Jesus is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

I love this truth. There is an image I learned from my WIW study that helps me to visualize the concept of how God sees me. Imagine God is above looking down on the world and you are holding an umbrella. That umbrella is Jesus, therefore God does not see you the way you look at yourself, He sees Jesus. So then, I think of the concept "be Jesus with skin on." I love that thought. To relate back to finances, Colossians is telling me to "set my heart on things above" --so not on money. That goes back to what I learned previously in Matthew 6:21, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." During this week I came across the book of Ecclesiastes, which told me that money, materialism, things of this world are all meaningless. Pastor Jeff Manion spoke about this in his MoneyWise series, saying "money is an important thing, but its not the only thing."

It was incredible to learn this while I was negative $400+ in the bank, on top of the debt and bills. All of last week I was just trying to get out of the red before I moved to San Diego. In one week, I received so much love and generosity from loved ones, close friends and family as well as complete strangers! It is bone chilling and extremely humbling the generosity of people, and from everyone of them came the message, "God loves you. Remember that always. God loves you!"
God totally loves me... there are so much more important things than money.

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Such as, the impression my family, my friends, my church has left on my heart. People love me. I am not trying to sound vain, by any means, but I left Michigan full of joy and love and peace. I love people and they love me. When I said farewell to my Grandma she said to me, "I will miss you, but as long as you are doing good things I am okay." That night two of my best friends reconciled a four year fight/argument/disagreement/love triangle/whatever you want to call it- to throw me a good-bye party and make sure I had a good time. That was amazing to me!!! Good things are happening with this move.

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San Diego... I love it here! I woke up today and still feel as if I am in a dream. I had a four hour interview yesturday, after a full 24 hours of traveling. I gave the Hyatt everything I had in me. I was so completely raw and real. I realize I do love hospitality, I got to talk about the greek orgin of the word is "love of strangers" (I learned that from Jeff Manion). My first interview, the HR manager stopped me in the middle of sentance to write down what I said so he could but it on his special board. He asked me what upsets me, what gets me angry. I told him, "people who take advantage, especially people who complain and get angry at hotels just to get free stuff. This happens all of the time, and it really is just apart of the job, so I try to remember that I am not here to judge, I am here to serve." That last part is what he wrote down. ... Yeah, I totally learned that principle from the Bible.

That same manager looked at me and said, "I love that you are on a journey. It takes an incredible amount of faith to come here and be so positive after an early morning flight like that." I hear those types of comments about many things in my life, but I always just view it as, "no big deal." I am really beginning to see how I am so different that the people around me... I like it.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." -Romans 12:2

The third manager I interviewed with was so encouraging. He looks at me and sees so much potential. He said to me, "I want you to be honest with us about your dreams and goals, so that we can help you get there." I love that, "let's make it happen" attitude. I have visions, I have dreams, but I don't have a map of how to get there... this guy does! I feel a huge commitment coming on here. I could spend some years in San Diego. Sometimes I look at my dreams and say, "I just want that now!" Lately, I definitely look at my life and say, "I want my degree over with.. I don't want to go back to school." I have to remember I am only 22... I know I am exactly where I should be in life right now.

P.S. I love when I talk to people who are not from San Diego, about San Diego they automatically start quoting Anchorman

And the picture above.. All of the electrical boxes in Pacific Beach are painted. I love this one! "Come, Sit, Stay in PB!!" That's what I'm doing.

I can't even afford the air I breathe

I am broke, I am so broke, I am broker than broke! I am so broke I cannot even afford the air that I am breathing. Yes, I am flying out to California for a job, because what I went to school for, what I studied for 3.5 years, and what I have ALL of my experience in, is available in surplus in San Diego! But I cannot even afford my own plane ticket or to drive my car, which would be very helpful in SoCal, to get there.

I totally got myself in quite the pickle, and man am I learning a lesson. I don't ever remember not being bailed out somehow when this situation has approached me before. I never ask my parents for money. Okay, I did once, when I was enrolling in summer classes between my sophomore and junior year, and they were not able to give it to me, so I borrowed from a close friend- don't worry, he got his. But really, my parents always just happened to give money when I was in a tough spot, I never asked. My brothers ask all of the time. Really... I think I'm too prideful to admit when I need help. I'm a "do it myself" kind of girl... maybe that came from growing up in a house full of boys, being the baby and the only girl, I felt like I had to be overly self-sufficient. My father could probably tell you the date of the day I started to do things on my own, "You were responsible since the day you learned to walk," he tells me. It was probably because I felt as if I could not trust anybody except myself.

So yeah.. this last year I have totally been learning to trust in God, even with my finances. I began to tithe and in August '08 when I quit my job for family stuff and did not find a new one until October, God totally provided. I never missed a car payment, I did not even have to reduce it, somehow I got a enough babysitting jobs or sold enough gold to make it. Then I got a job in the nick of time and began a plan to pay off some debt. Things were great, I was living within my means and the bills were getting paid. Then in late January '09, I lost my job... had to replace some stuff on my car, had unexpected bills from collections agencies showing up and WHAM! I saw the date... I saw the date of the red zone coming, I called it! Mid-March, I knew it!! And I did nothing to prevent it. I had Australia in my mind, San Diego calling, but I wanted to be in Michigan, and thoughts of finishing my degree. I had so much going on, my mind was overwhelmed. I slept because I was so depressed and felt powerless. When I did manage to wake up at a decent time and post resumes to websites, I received a ton of sales jobs and stay at home business' and blah. Then from great coaching someone said to me, "Take one step at a time and God will begin to close doors for you." So I found out I am so close to finishing school, and applied to more hospitality focused jobs in Michigan and San Diego. However, my finances were still declining at a rapid rate and I found myself saying, "God, where were you on this one?! Come on, I needed you!"

I pray a lot, and every once in a great while, I do pray to get out of debt, for money to just magically arrive (jokingly ;-P). So I as I ask Him, "Where were you?!" I am reminded... I don't exactly remember asking Him for help. "I got myself into this mess, and I will get myself out." ...Pride always comes before the fall.

I remember at Snow Camp, Pastor Joe Hays preaching about, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matthew 6:21 and he challenged us for 30 days to focus on Loving God and Loving Others. To reflect where are treasures are and refocus to make sure our heart was with God. So as I think about where I spend my money, my time, and my energy I am in awe. I definitely have some priorities to rearrange there.

A couple of days ago I was listening to Pastor Marvin Williams sermon about "Ask, Seek, Knock," based from Matthew 6:11-12- "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." I love that sermon; you can download the podcast from Ada Bibles website. At the end of the sermon, Pastor Marvin challenges us to for 30 days focus on something that may be going wrong in our lives. With a "pray without ceasing" intensity. (Wow, I really have realized that I cannot do this alone. I am definitely being humbled and asking for help. I need to get out of debt! I need to be able to afford to live and support myself! aaahh!)

So now that I see a major area of my life that needs fixing is financial wisdom and discipline, I want to spend the next 30 days totally focused on changing the way I think about money. I want to look at money and use it for what it was meant for, as a tool! Not to make it my master and cause me stress. I also don't want to look at money as... "oh , God will provide." I realize now that with anything in life, God is there, but I am still responsible for myself. I do need to have specific intent, and actions to work with my faith.

About a year ago I did read a book called, "God's Plan for Your Finances" which was really good; I was able to put somethings into action, such as tithing. Maybe I should re-read it. One of my biggest weaknesses is memorizing scripture... I love how in the Bible it talks about storing scripture in our hearts. So in the next 30 days I plan to memorize a verse on finances per week. This week is, "The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." -Proverbs 22:7

For those of you who may have more experience with financial wisdom than I... any encouragment or any tips you use that work well that I may be able to apply to my life? Any Bible verses that help you? I would love to hear from you!

I've been changed to bring change

Tonight I attended a woman's ministry event at Ada Bible church called Heart's Alive! They hold this event the first Tuesday of every month during the school calendar year. At each Heart's Alive! there is food, brought in pot luck fashion by attendees, worship music, and a keynote speaker. And the best detail of all, is it is an ALL women event (sorry boys).

Tonight's speaker was Shauna Niequist, author of Cold Tangerines. The topic she spoke on was "Change." Listening to her speech could not have come at a better time in my life. Shauna shared from her heart, the change that she has gone through the past three years, and I totally related. Although my changes do not look the same, regardless they are still changes. A few things Shauna mentioned stuck out to me, and really struck a cord with how I am feeling and how events in my life are rolling out right now.

First of all, Shauna wrote a beautiful analogy of the two ways people react to change. "It is like standing in the water at the lake shore and you either lock your knees and let the wave hit you in the face, or you relax and trust the water as you move with the wave." I have resisted leaving Michigan for 2 months now, and the wave has totally smacked me in the face! I have a job that does not pay the bills, and to add to it I received a $60 parking ticket in Chicago and $75 in overdraft fees from the bank because of 2 automatic withdrawals that came out of my account at a time I was not expecting them to automatically withdraw from my account, at the same time I used my debit card to fill up my gas tank to come home = 3 transactions at $25 overdraft fee per transaction=>$75.

One might look at that and say, "Well then you shouldn't have gone to Chicago." And to you poor pessimist I say, not even bad finances can take away the glory of God I saw and felt while I was there. It was amazing being taken out of my city, to view my everyday life from a different angle, to reflect and study and meditate on His Word. Not even the poor finances can take away the Peace I felt. The poor finances are just a catalyst to my decision to leave Michigan so quickly now. See now, I have a job pretty much waiting for me in San Diego. I stopped fighting the wave and resisting God's call to me. I relaxed, and laid down in the water to trust God and where He is guiding me.

Second, I love my church family at Ada. I love how my Monday night study can make laugh as we throw quick whips at each other, and still somehow be fully focused on God. I love how Union on Tuesday nights challenges me to pursue Holiness in a world that goes completely against it. I love how Lifeline on Wednesdays... I just love my youth group girls, "Fia Fia Siva!" and how they love me and care so much for me. They are really like having 4 little sisters... which can be challenging at times, but I love them! I love the other Lifeline leaders; I feel like I cry every single Wednesday... either from pouring my heart out to them, as they are so gracious to listen, or crying from laughing so hard because they are that hilarious! I love my meetings with Iva, how we can talk pop culture and just listening to her stories are amazing, the woman is truly a woman of God's own heart, with so much wisdom. I love meeting with Jen and how we break every single mentoring rule, but we are able to laugh and share so much. Jen truly has a heart of gold, and I am so pleased and blessed to have been able to spend so much time with her over the last 3 months. I will deeply miss my family... the first Christian family I have been apart of. Ada has been a complete blessing to me; I pray that I may now take those blessings to everyone I meet! And that I may find a new community in California that will help me to grow even more in my love and hunger for Jesus and godly wisdom.

Third, there a song by Aaron Niequist, called Changed. I first heard this song around the time of my baptism and loved it! Well, they played it tonight at Heart's Alive! and I would like to share it here as I continue on with my journey and walk with God.

Music, oh how I love thee

I love music, it speaks to my soul. Why can I not make it!? I write poetry.. sometimes when I am really, really depressed. There is just something about the sound of a piano key, guitar strum or beat on the drum (see the Dr. Seuss there?!) that just gets to me. Lately I have been feeling:

Lauren Solomon- The Anticipation -she is an amazing pianist and my best friend!

This World Fair- Don't Make Me Wait
This World Fair- This Morning

Mary Mary- Get Up

Matthew West- Motions

Mat Kearney- Closer to Love

Kanye West- Love Lockdown - sometimes I just need a good beat to dance to, when nobody is watching...

Lady GaGa- Poker Face

T.I. & Justin Timberlake- Dead & Gone

Kate Nash- I just want your kiss boy

Kings of Leon- McFearless
Kings of Leon- On Call

Jason Mraz- A Beautiful Mess
Jason Mraz- Remedy
Jason Mraz- You & I Both

Toby Mac- Burn for You
Toby Mac- Lose My Soul

Enjoy! Bon appetite!

Pinkle Yourself

This guy... makes phenomenal music! My friend Lauren is a friend of his friend.. haha, confusing I know, but she introduced it to me and I love it! Especially Neroo & Rounder than an Orange Peel. Check, check, check, check it out! @ http://www.pinklemusic.com/music.html or just click the title above.

GoldRush

San Diego, California.....

?!?!?!Really?

I grew up in California, and my absolute favorite beaches were in San Diego.. actually thee beach is Mission Beach. I rarely ever could go there since I lived in the High Desert, 75 + miles away (2-3 hours for you Michigan folk). Right now, I have the opportunity to move to Pacific Beach (right next to MB). There are a million hospitality jobs in San Diego available for the summer season coming up. I am struggling with my restaurant job in Michigan. All of my experience is in hotels, and San Diego has the jobs available. This could get me back to school to complete my degree in Hospitality and Tourism Management, Lodging emphasis. Really, I just want to be a finisher; one characteristic I never, ever wanted to be known for is a 'quitter.' Honestly, I don't see the rest of my life working in a hotel, but if that is what is going to pay the bills for now, then so be it.

What's the problem then? I have a wonderful church in Michigan. I am there 4 nights a week, I have relationships built; the best relationships of my life. I have a youth group I lead of four 12 year-old girls. This church is my first church, my home church. However, I find myself curious of the whole church, that is the whole community of Jesus followers. I just have the conservative West Michigan perspective. I see that my friends here are sad when I mention leaving. It is not that I want to leave anybody, but I dream of exploring and discovering more. More of the world, more of the Bible, more of God, more of me.

When I first brought up moving, I really wanted to move out of the country to Australia. I resisted and the door shut! Now I have this opportunity for San Diego and I am going. No need for acceptance, no need for approval from man. I pray and I pray and I read and I read and God answers:

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

"Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure." Ecclesiastes 8:5

It is time to leave Michigan. I am not running away; I would have been gone 7 months ago already, if I were. The funny thing about it is, I know I will have a great time in San Diego, more peace with the financial crisis I am in right now; but I am already looking forward to coming back to Michigan for Ben & Jen's wedding in July!!

Welcome to a Smile That's Contagious

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a follower of Jesus Christ. My name is Sabrina; I am 22 years old. I have a lot on my mind every second of every day. The last two years of my life has been change after change, after change, after change. Last September I joined a woman's Bible study at my church. Week in and week out I pour my heart out to those women, and after 6 months one turned to me and said, "Your life moves at the speed of sound! Every week there is something new and so different going on." She is so right. I replied to her, "You should try living it!" And yet, through all of the trials and changes, somehow when people look at me they seem to say, "Your smile is so contagious." I am so honored and humbled in those moments, because it is not me they see, it is Jesus. Another very good friend of mine said it better recommending to me the following verses:

1 Peter 1:3-9

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade–kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

So here I am, with a smile that's contagious and a life the moves at the speed of sound.. Sonic BOOM!!!