ugh... I so struggle with living day to day knowing my purpose. Yes, I am a child of God. Yes, my purpose is to glorify Him, to further His kingdom. But how?! With what? I came across 2 video's from John Maxwell... I love his stuff. The first asks, "What am I passionate with?" The second, "What am I good at?"
http://video.success.com/experts/passion-great-energizer/
http://video.success.com/experts/good/
I so appreciate how Maxwell says, "Discovering your purpose is a process." It is not something that you find over night, over a week, or even a few years. It takes time!! (Time I so hate to wait for!) So what am I passionate about?
Jesus.. I down play it too much, but I love talking about God and how He works, who He is, who He isn't. People ask me, "Are you relgious?" I reply, "No, I just have an amazing relationship with God."
I am passionate about women... I love hearing the stories of women and their hurts, their pains, fears, doubts and I love more than anything to be their encourager. There are a group of women, friends of mine that have developed over the years... and I love that they come to me for not only grace, but truth. I realize there is a huge responsibility in this.... but somehow God's Word comes to my heart at the right time for me to pass it along to them. I am passionate about young women... girls who are just now beginning to face the pressures of the world. I want to be their protector, their guiding light.
Hospitality.. love of strangers... I am so passionate about loving on strangers. But the business of hospitality, not so much. I can't put my finger on it... but I am so dissatisfied working in a hotel. I like it, I'm content with it for now, but I really ... am not at peace about it. I know this is what I need to do for now, I really do not know what is in store for me here.. I will give it an honest, grown up shot... 2 years.. I'm commited and God honors commitment.
What am I good at?
Hospitality apparently... looking pretty... I get a lot of compliments on that. Being loving to people. Listening.. quite frequently people poor their heart out to me. It is always so very humbling when they do because I know they trust me. I am always honored. I'm great with girls ages 10+ I'm good at baking.. and cooking, but mainly baking. I'm good at getting attention.... sometimes the wrong kind of attention. I'd like to say I am good at bringing out the best in people... Being the thermostat in the room- lifting others up. I am good at reading something, a book or scripture and relating it to peoples lives... I love doing that, sending a text message to my girls! It's awesome when they send me verses back too!
I think I should read Rick Warren's book again.. it's been almost 2 years exactly. I think now would be a good time to re-read that.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
To Let Go--To Forgive--To Love
"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong. Sometimes it's letting go." -Sylvia Robinson
I don't know what I want to say about this statement, all I know is that it hits a cord. So much has changed in my life in the last 2 years, holding on to things is just unhealthy. Moving forward has definitely caused me to repeatedly ask for strength from my Heavenly Father. I have found what has made me strong is forgiveness. Accepting my Fathers forgiveness of me. Forgiving others their transgressions. Is that what Sylvia means by "letting go" - forgiveness? It is so unnatural to do, isn't it?
Being unforgiving... is like a poision. I heard an anology a while back, forgive me for butchering it here, but it was something to the affect of, "bitterness is like drinking poision and expecting the person your mad at to die."
And why is asking forgivness so difficult?! Being prideful really gets you nowhere, so why are we tempted to be so? Why is forgiving yourself even more difficult than forgiving others? I find that I hold myself to a much higher standard than I hold others in my life. But if we are called to "Love others as you love yourself" ---so could we say, "forgive others as you forgive yourself." But if you don't love yourself, or are unwilling to forgive yourself, can you really love and forgive others.
Why am I putting love and forgivness in a sentance as if they are synonymous?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Why after leaving my 6 year relationship was I made stronger? I remained bitter at him for not proposing for years (I was the drinking poison, expecting him to see and be hurt and react to it).. then when he finally did I left and let go of the relationship. Over the last 7 months I definitely feel as if healing in our frienship as occured. I still love him, really I love him more now.. I'll admit it. I treat him better now, than I ever did when we were dating. Is it because I finally accepted my Fathers love for me, that I learned how to truly love? That because I actually love myself now, that I am able to love others. I don't see a marriage with this man... although I truly believe he will make a wonderful husband and father someday, I don't believe it is with me. But I miss him and our friendship.
We spoke a few times in April-- in person I was happy to be speaking with him, but as soon as he would leave I was crushed and emotionally exhausted. I was so pleased to be moving across the country so that those moments would not occur anymore. However, we have spoke over the phone a couple of times and I am always so excited to hear his voice. He was my best friend for 7 years... I love to share my stories with him and listen to his. Just because I am not marrying him anymore, why is there this unspoken rule of "you can't be friends." I just heard from my dad that he is looking into helping me out with my car, something about he can get me some free tires from his work. I look at these gestures and I see the boy, man now, that I fell in love with. When we were dating he always treated our friends better than he did me... we both did. Now that I am just a friend he is treating me with the same love and care he always treated all of our friends. I am having a difficult time letting go of this. I value his friendship, and I don't want to let it go. Is it possible to be friends? It's easier not to slip back into old habits now that I am across the country... but is it healthy?
I really feel as if him and I don't fit that standard 'break-up' mold. We have this amazing mutual respect and love of each other... I let go of him 7 months ago.. was made stronger. Periodically, he comes back... so am I really letting go? Will it really make me stronger, to deny this friendship for longer? "Absense makes the heart grow fonder."
But then I remember, what is more important here- to deny him or to deny God. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6 ---this verse shows up in my life all of the time at the moments I need it the most. For example this is just one of many occurances (God is so intentional here)- my first night in San Diego I ate at In & Out Burger (of'course!) and on the bottom of my chocolate shake cup was "Proverbs 3:5-6"--- As I remain obediant to God ... only good things come. When I spend so much time without communication with him, then I hear how God has been working in his life, I am soooo inspired and grateful for the break-up. I am so proud of him, it brings me to tears I am so overwhelmingly joyed, I am so proud of him.
Wow.. was not expecting all of that to come out..
"We love with a love that is more than just love." -Edgar Allen Poe
I don't know what I want to say about this statement, all I know is that it hits a cord. So much has changed in my life in the last 2 years, holding on to things is just unhealthy. Moving forward has definitely caused me to repeatedly ask for strength from my Heavenly Father. I have found what has made me strong is forgiveness. Accepting my Fathers forgiveness of me. Forgiving others their transgressions. Is that what Sylvia means by "letting go" - forgiveness? It is so unnatural to do, isn't it?
Being unforgiving... is like a poision. I heard an anology a while back, forgive me for butchering it here, but it was something to the affect of, "bitterness is like drinking poision and expecting the person your mad at to die."
And why is asking forgivness so difficult?! Being prideful really gets you nowhere, so why are we tempted to be so? Why is forgiving yourself even more difficult than forgiving others? I find that I hold myself to a much higher standard than I hold others in my life. But if we are called to "Love others as you love yourself" ---so could we say, "forgive others as you forgive yourself." But if you don't love yourself, or are unwilling to forgive yourself, can you really love and forgive others.
Why am I putting love and forgivness in a sentance as if they are synonymous?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Why after leaving my 6 year relationship was I made stronger? I remained bitter at him for not proposing for years (I was the drinking poison, expecting him to see and be hurt and react to it).. then when he finally did I left and let go of the relationship. Over the last 7 months I definitely feel as if healing in our frienship as occured. I still love him, really I love him more now.. I'll admit it. I treat him better now, than I ever did when we were dating. Is it because I finally accepted my Fathers love for me, that I learned how to truly love? That because I actually love myself now, that I am able to love others. I don't see a marriage with this man... although I truly believe he will make a wonderful husband and father someday, I don't believe it is with me. But I miss him and our friendship.
We spoke a few times in April-- in person I was happy to be speaking with him, but as soon as he would leave I was crushed and emotionally exhausted. I was so pleased to be moving across the country so that those moments would not occur anymore. However, we have spoke over the phone a couple of times and I am always so excited to hear his voice. He was my best friend for 7 years... I love to share my stories with him and listen to his. Just because I am not marrying him anymore, why is there this unspoken rule of "you can't be friends." I just heard from my dad that he is looking into helping me out with my car, something about he can get me some free tires from his work. I look at these gestures and I see the boy, man now, that I fell in love with. When we were dating he always treated our friends better than he did me... we both did. Now that I am just a friend he is treating me with the same love and care he always treated all of our friends. I am having a difficult time letting go of this. I value his friendship, and I don't want to let it go. Is it possible to be friends? It's easier not to slip back into old habits now that I am across the country... but is it healthy?
I really feel as if him and I don't fit that standard 'break-up' mold. We have this amazing mutual respect and love of each other... I let go of him 7 months ago.. was made stronger. Periodically, he comes back... so am I really letting go? Will it really make me stronger, to deny this friendship for longer? "Absense makes the heart grow fonder."
But then I remember, what is more important here- to deny him or to deny God. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6 ---this verse shows up in my life all of the time at the moments I need it the most. For example this is just one of many occurances (God is so intentional here)- my first night in San Diego I ate at In & Out Burger (of'course!) and on the bottom of my chocolate shake cup was "Proverbs 3:5-6"--- As I remain obediant to God ... only good things come. When I spend so much time without communication with him, then I hear how God has been working in his life, I am soooo inspired and grateful for the break-up. I am so proud of him, it brings me to tears I am so overwhelmingly joyed, I am so proud of him.
Wow.. was not expecting all of that to come out..
"We love with a love that is more than just love." -Edgar Allen Poe
Friday, May 1, 2009
My body is a temple
This month I would like to pay attention to my body more. I have so many questions of how my body is and how to use it to glorify God. What am I eating? What I am doing? When am I exercising? How am I presenting myself? What is my image? What signal/message am I sending to people? To men? How can I discipline myself?
I have learned that it starts with the little things. When I can control my little impulses, say no to the "small" temptations, deny the tiniest of indulgences, then I will be more confident and able to say no to the large tempations. So... one of my biggest weakness' is food... we all know how obesessed I can be with sweets, with burgers, with anything edible, chocolate. I know that if I can grab ahold of this one are of my life, the affects will be evident and gratifying in SOOOO many other areas.
Now I need a game plan... how do I curb my appetite? I have learned little tricks here and there over the past 8 months, and they have worked, but it's all a mind game. So really, the question is how do I curb my eyes' appetite? How do I give what I eat up to God? How do I glorify him with food? aaahh, so many questions!!
Any tips? Any Bible verses that help you? Or ones that just come to mind?
I have learned that it starts with the little things. When I can control my little impulses, say no to the "small" temptations, deny the tiniest of indulgences, then I will be more confident and able to say no to the large tempations. So... one of my biggest weakness' is food... we all know how obesessed I can be with sweets, with burgers, with anything edible, chocolate. I know that if I can grab ahold of this one are of my life, the affects will be evident and gratifying in SOOOO many other areas.
Now I need a game plan... how do I curb my appetite? I have learned little tricks here and there over the past 8 months, and they have worked, but it's all a mind game. So really, the question is how do I curb my eyes' appetite? How do I give what I eat up to God? How do I glorify him with food? aaahh, so many questions!!
Any tips? Any Bible verses that help you? Or ones that just come to mind?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
